I struggled to think of who to write this to. There are so many people I would love to tell them exactly how they feel but I can’t. Maybe I could write a nice letter to someone.
So I decided to write it to a few people those who don’t realise what hurt they are causing
Dear whom it may concern,
Your youth shows through as you unknowingly crush my heart with every word. The brashness in which you share your news without thought to our situation makes me angry. You only contact to tell us more good news that destroys a tiny part of my soul each time.
You see you are pregnant and I am not. We not long lost our baby and yet you message telling us without thought how it may hurt us to hear of a new baby so soon. It’s not so much about the baby but knowing you couldn’t keep your first baby and won’t be able to keep your second makes this so much harder. Why is your baby allowed to live when mine died yet your baby won’t get to grow up with family and mine could have done.
You baby doesn’t deserve life any less than mine but why get pregnant on purpose knowing you’re not stable enough to be a mummy yet. This make it so much harder to control my anger at life.
I can’t tell you how hurtful this is as I’m afraid the effect it would have but I think you should be told even if it’s anonymously.
For those that spent the last year ignoring me, pretending to care through others but never approaching me to offer your support it’s too late. You avoid eye contact you walk, around me and you avoiding talking to me.
You all acted like you cared behind my back but to this day you never acknowledged my pain. Instead I heard second hand stories of how YOU felt, how this was affecting YOU and what YOU have been through that of course made you understand a little more.
Early labour that is stopped, a previous miscarriage you got over is nothing like losing a baby. It is nothing compared to what you have to do when you lose a baby. Nothing in your life will compare to that. I’ve been through some of the things you feel qualifies you to understand and believe me it doesn’t.
To those who did care. Why did you take so long? Why pretend you don’t know what to say. Hi is a good starting point the rest after doesn’t matter just never tell me you know how you feel the rest you really can’t go wrong. To those who cared then stopped caring why? I needed you.
I’m sorry this has been depressing and a little heavy but it is something that affects me daily and saddens me. I want my baby to be remembered but that’s so difficult when everyone wants to forget that babies die.
Read more at A Tiny Beauty.